Marriage and the Gospel (Genesis 2:18-25, Part I)

Here’s my sermon from April 26th, 2026, my first from Genesis 2:18-25, on marriage. You can also listen to the audio here.

Last weekend, we celebrated 20 years a church. And what a great time of celebration it was. Thanks again to the great team that put it all together. Kevin. Laura. Rebekah. I also really appreciate Billy coming in to preach last Sunday. Check it out, if you haven’t yet. It was a memorable, joyful weekend together.

But our Larson family is also hitting another milestone this year. Amy and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage together in June. And let me say, marriage is a very beautiful thing. Spending your life with someone you enjoy. Who will be with you through thick and thin. Someone who lifts you up. And makes you laugh. Who complements you well. Who encourages and challenges you. I can’t imagine surviving this whole Karis thing with anyone else by my side. Like I said Saturday night - it helps to plant a church with a superhero. She’s simply amazing.

But let me speak honestly. She also drives me completely crazy! Complement each other? Sure. But sometimes I wonder how the Lord could have brought together two people who were more opposite than me and Amy Janelle. Just putting together a grocery list this weekend. It felt like trying to open up the Strait of Hormuz. Yes, marriage is beautiful. I can’t imagine life without her. I thought I was going to lose her just a few years back. And I didn’t know how I was gonna make it. But it’s also hard. Sometimes it feels like we’re a complete mess.

But I know, for sure, that it’s very much worth it. Marriage today is devalued. It’s resisted. And we talk mainly about its difficult problems. But I want you to hear today, that it’s a remarkable privilege. Soon we’ll get in to chapter 3 of Genesis. But today, we’ll zoom in on some key verses. And we’ll hit together on a critical theme.

The Pattern of Marriage

Imagine you walk with me into a house. And Jesus is our host. And He walks us over to a wall. And points his finger toward a portrait - of a man and woman. And He says, “You see that? That’s what this relationship is meant to look like. That’s the pattern of marriage.” Now isn’t this what see here in Genesis chapter 2 - and especially in verse 24? The pattern. There’s no “father” or “mother” yet anywhere to be found. Just Adam and Eve -  and the LORD. But this is God’s design - from that day forward. Until marriage - and everything else is completely fulfilled. More on that soon.

Now we believe Jesus inspired all of these words. But did you know He also affirmed them on earth? And pointed to this as the pattern, as well? You may remember back in Matthew 19. The Pharisees approach Jesus, trying to box him in on divorce. They ask, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” Listen to how the Lord responds in verses 4 through 6.

Matthew 19:4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,

Matthew 19:5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

People still try to put words in His mouth. Over gender, for sure. And also over marriage. God, He said, made people in His image, either male or female. And the Lord brings together one man and one woman in marriage. That’s Jesus’s view - lest you hear something different. He says, “Remember the pattern.”

But look back at Genesis 2. The Lord makes Adam, the first man, and then, for the first time, says something about His creation isn’t good - there in verse 18. Adam needs a “helper,” God says, and none of those other creatures will do.

Now this reminds us that we’ve been made for community. As part of the people of God. In this relationship called marriage. And, for that reason, we see the Lord, in verses 21 and 22, make a woman, out of that first man. And He gives her to his son. This is the first giving of the bride. And, as a result, there in verse 23, we see Adam burst into the first ever human poem. Listen again:

Genesis 2:23 Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called Woman,

because she was taken out of Man.”    

Adam sings out in excitement. For this gift God has given. As she walks through that garden to him. And there becomes his “flesh” and “bone.” They’re blood relatives now. A new family together. That’s what that language means to say. And that’s what happens in marriage.

We then hear these mammoth words of Moses. That we see quoted by Jesus. The pattern for marriage in verse 24. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” I think this is best summarized and memorized in this simple way. Leave. Cleave. Weave.

Leave. Now wives in that day left their family when they married. And they moved in with and joined up with the tribe of their husband. But the man still stayed with his fam on their land. And he’s the one Moses speaks to here. And when He tells husbands to leave, He says now to put her first. The same prophet who later says to honor mom and dad. He says here, “Now she is your priority.” You want to have even more problems in marriage? Don’t follow this pattern. Don’t move on from home. And just watch. Or please don’t.

Cleave. Now that word comes from the old King James. It’s not a word we tend to use much today. It has this idea of sticking together like glue. Of remaining faithful to one another. Permanently and exclusively. And it points to this concept of covenant.

My friend Reid Monaghan has explained it this way. In our culture today, we often think of marriage as coupling. It’s about falling in love. Marrying either for the vibes, or even just for lust. And when either dries up, so does the marriage. That’s the Hollywood view. That we’ve drunk up, too. Coupling. All about the feelings.

Another way we think of marriage is more like a contract. You agree to some terms. To do certain things. And not to do others. And if either of the parties breaks the terms of the agreement, it’s over. This is equally common in America today. “You didn’t do what you said you’d do. You didn’t live up to what I thought you’d be.” Contract. All about the actions.

Now this never works, because feelings come and go. We get older and gain weight. And none of us is either good enough or able to fake it enough. We’ll let each other down. And we don’t help each other the way we date in our culture. We couple off with people. We agree to informal contracts. The feelings wane. The person lets us down. And we move on. And we get so used to that cycle that we’re almost trained for divorce. What we all desperately want is the biblical view of marriage.

That is when we think of marriage as a covenant. Where we make a promise before God to one another. We cleave. The feelings may come and go - even over the course of a day. Your actions will disappoint. I know you’ll hurt me - no doubt. But either way, I’ve made this pledge. I’ve entered into a covenant. It’s all about the promises.

As Dietrich Bonhoeffer once put it, "It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.” Or as Timothy Keller also explains, “Wedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love.” That’s what it means here for Adam to “hold fast” to his wife. And her, to Him. In this covenant. We cleave. We agree to stick together - no matter what.

Weave. Verse 24 goes on. “And they shall become one flesh.” Sure, that definitely points to sex. Where we’ll go next week. But it’s involves much more than that, for sure. We join our lives. We become one unit together. Physically. Emotionally. Even spiritually. One. That’s God’s design. His pattern for marriage. Leave. Cleave. And weave.

Now I said a bit ago - we’re made for community. That’s what we learn right here. In the opening pages of Genesis. But we were also meant for this security, too. In these covenant promises. To trust that deepest relationships will remain. But there’s something else intended. That we’d experience vulnerability. Listen to verse 25. “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” This points in part to their innocence before sin. But it’s so much more than that. Adam and Eve are open. They’re authentic about who they are. They’re honest about their flaws. Listen to how Ray Ortlund describes this scene:

“In the closing scene of original human innocence, the man and the woman—not the woman only—are naked, face-to-face in a relationship of complete belonging and total vulnerability, where they experience full acceptance, with no shaming. Even so, a biblical marriage today offers the comfort of being known intimately by another and not embarrassed or ridiculed for any reason, but only welcomed and put at ease and embraced. Married couples still experience this aftertaste of Eden’s perfect shalom in their gentle intimacy today.” (Ray Ortlund)

Vulnerability. In community. But we often try to get that today without ever actually getting married. And it won’t lead to security. Listen to Tim Keller explain why:

“There is another way in which the legality of marriage augments its personal nature. When dating or living together, you have to prove your value daily by impressing and enticing. You have to show that the chemistry is there and the relationship is fun and fulfilling or it will be over. We are still basically in a consumer relationship, and that means constant promotion and marketing. The legal bond of marriage, however, creates a space of security where we can open up and reveal our true selves. We can be vulnerable, no longer having to keep up facades. We don’t have to keep selling ourselves. We can lay the last layer of our defenses down and be completely naked, both physically and in every other way.” (Tim Keller)

We were meant for vulnerability. In community. With the security of covenant. Do you see the beauty of that? Can you hear how good that sounds? This is the pattern of marriage. And within marriage is where the cultural mandate is lived out. What’s that? What we saw back in chapter 1, verse 28. When God blessed us as male and female and told us to “be fruitful and multiply” and “have dominion” over all of the earth. Things work better for us - and our children. God’s mission actually gets done. When we follow His pattern for marriage.

But distortions destroy this picture we see in Genesis 2. Sex outside of this context. When we spurn our promises in divorce. And betray the other in adultery. It’s like we walk up to that portrait, with a big sharpie in hand, and we scribble all over it, mocking the beauty of God’s pattern. And we hurt ourselves, those we love, and the world around us. 

We do well to live out this pattern. That we see here at creation. This is what marriage is. But things soon get tough, we see in Genesis 3 ahead. The fall happens. And that community gets broken. Suddenly the two feel really insecure. And they look and realize they’re naked and hide. Marriage gets messy real fast after that.

But I want you to hear that it’s worth it. Because there’s hope, we shall soon see. But there’s a deeper reason to fight to live out this pattern. And to get there, let’s keep walking through that house.

The Purpose of Marriage   

After we move past that portrait, the Lord stops a little further. And He directs us toward a window. Maybe looks out on a meadow, points up to a mountain. And Jesus tells us, “That pattern you just saw. Let your eyes go beyond that. To something bigger, even more beautiful. Let it be like this window. To look out and see the true purpose of marriage.”

Now we get a glimpse of that other world in Paul’s letter to Ephesians. Yes, marriage is a gift. It’s for our good. It brings joy. But that’s not the ultimate point. It’s really about God’s glory. As we see more of who He is. And also what He has done. Go with me to Ephesians chapter 5. Down in verse 31, we hear some really familiar words. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” And Paul says this really surprising thing. There in verse 32 that follows. “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

Now Paul likes to talk about this mystery in His letters. And he’s not talking about something only smart people can grasp. It’s not as if God’s hidden something He doesn’t want us to find. No, it’s something that’s always been true. But has gradually been revealed. To the people of God. In the story of Scripture. Something the prophets - even the angels - longed to understand. That a King was coming. Who’d gather together people from all nations. And He would wash them clean. And make everything new. One day, we’d realize even marriage pointed to all that.   

This pattern set out in the beginning. It always had a greater purpose. To point to God’s relationship with His people. And also how that communion would one day be restored. The purpose of marriage is to point to the gospel. To God’s covenant-keeping love. And how He keeps it through Jesus. Marriage is a metaphor to move us to marvel at that.

We don’t want to think of it this backwards. As if God created marriage and thought, “You know. God’s relationship with His church - that’s a pretty good illustration of this.” No. It’s the other way around. From eternity past, the Lord has chosen and loved a people. And planned to give His only Son to win their love back. And He made human marriage as a way to image that to the world. As Paul puts it, in verse 32, “it refers to Christ and the church.”

We next walk together back into a sunroom. It’s dark outside now. And we notice a telescope. And Christ says, “Take a look.” And we gaze through and gasp. It’s a star or a planet. And it’s breathtaking. Marriage also magnifies like that. It takes something invisible, at least to the human eye. And it makes it visible. And glorious. To appear as big as it truly is. That’s what our marriages are still meant to do. Even though they’re messy, they still communicate this beauty. Of a God who loves a people. Through the sacrifice of His Son. We help bring that into focus.

Those distortions then do far more than hurt you and me. Marriage is a holy thing. And we dishonor God. And what the union represents. We misrepresent the gospel, the message of Jesus. When we divorce, we’re saying that the Lord gives up on His people. In adultery, we communicate that God is unfaithful to His bride. When we want the privileges of marriage without making a covenant in marriage, we display God as one who uses and abuses. And discards and moves on.

Whether we admit it or not - or are even Christians are not - we are billboards that picture the love of the gospel. And are we communicating the truth or a lie?

Do they see a picture of the Son, who leaves His Father, gives Himself to His people, and makes Himself one with His Church? Do they see, as we see in the verses prior in Ephesians 5, husbands leading and loving their wives - like Jesus - giving up their lives? And those wives following and respecting their husbands - like the church -  embracing, trusting that love? As Ray Ortlund writes, “People may not read the Bible but they're reading your marriage and how it reflects the Gospel.” This is the purpose of marriage. To display God’s relationship with His people. And to show how it’s restored in the cross. A picture of the gospel. That is what it all means. It’s the point of marriage. To point to our covenant-keeping God - especially the new covenant secured by Christ.

Yesterday, Amy stepped into the kitchen and complained about the volume of my music. And I immediately went on the defensive. I was enjoying the brand new HomePod I’d just bought. I thought, if she didn’t like it, she could step out of the kitchen. The music was too loud, she said. She was finding it annoying. Kylen chimed in, that my taste was also terrible. I tried to explain. “The reason I’m in here playing my music is because I’m trying to help far more around the house. Maybe you can hear it while on Zoom, but I’m trying to take on more tasks, so you can do more work at home.” Anyway, we went back and forth. And we got no where at all. But eventually I thought, “What am I doing?” Especially, as I was working on this sermon for today.    

I don’t know about you. But I don’t enjoy the thought of people looking through the telescope at me, or at us. I fear they won’t often see a sparkling planet or a radiant star. But more like some rusty satellite debris or a dirty chunk of asteroid. A mess. And that leads to my next point. We struggle to follow this pattern - and spotlight this purpose.

The Power of Marriage

I once heard D.A. Carson talk about watching an interview on British TV. A couple married for 65 years. And they asked them if they had ever considered divorce. The old man replied, with his wife right there beside, “Divorce?! Divorce?! Never!! Never!! Murder?! Often! Divorce?! Never!"

Marriage is so hard, for sure, in this fallen world - right? To be that billboard, when we’re so broken. To be that telescope, the mess that we are. Yet the same gospel this marriage points to is the power we desperately need in our marriages. Let’s take a few steps through that house, with Jesus again. Past the portrait and the window, He walks us over to a mirror. And he tells us, “Take a look right here. And tell me what you see. Marriage, also, shows us who we are.” Marriage isn’t just here to make us all happy. It serves to make us holy. And when things look to be a mess, the problem usually isn’t with our marriage. Outside of us - with our spouse. No, it’s often something inside of us. The problem is me. And our marriages help us see who we really are. Along with how great the gospel of Jesus is. Listen to Paul again in Ephesians 5:

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Ephesians 5:26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

Ephesians 5:27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

The gospel is first how we’re restored to our God. Through Christ’s love for us. Through His great sacrifice. We’re no longer orphans. We’re now His children. We’re accepted. Forgiven. As we look in the mirror, we see the mess and the beauty. We’re far more sinful than we realized. But we’re more accepted than we could imagine. Christ is our validation. We can have humility before our spouse. We can be the first one to repent. We now have security in Jesus. We don’t have to be right all the time. He is our validation. That’s gospel power.

But the gospel is second the power that transforms us. He is sanctifying us by His Spirit. He’s washing us, church. He’s not going to be satisfied until all the spots and wrinkles and blemishes are gone. Until we’re completely “holy.” He is at work changing us from the inside out. And we need Him desperately. The world, the flesh, the devil, are simply too strong. We can’t possibly keep our covenant on our own. We can’t love our spouse in our own power. We can’t do a thing without His grace. He’s making us new. He is our transformation. There’s power in Him.

Karis, this is what marriage needs. The gospel of Jesus. It is the power of marriage. You see divorce isn’t happening because we’re “falling out of love.” It’s that we’re “falling out of repentance.” We’re no longer seeing who it is we truly are. And then running in faith to Jesus for help. The gospel is powerful. What Jesus has done and what He’s doing - it can help us keep our covenant. It can keep us crawling forward in love. This is the hope of redemption. The power for marriage.

Our marriages point to that gospel. But also drive us to it. To His power, church. We need Him - not just here - but in every moment.

Gospel Power for Us All

Now depending on how you came in, these words may strike you differently. I want to gently give some challenges and encouragements to several different groups here today.

To those struggling. In a hard marriage. With a tough spouse. The Lord sees you. He loves you. He will keep His covenant with you. He’s at work in you. And He’ll work through you. Maybe God will use you to break through to that partner.

To those grieving. You’ve lost a spouse you loved. Suddenly, too soon. Sure, it was complicated. But now, you’re alone. Remember, Christ is here. And He’s given you His Church.

To those regretting. There is forgiveness, my friend. There are biblical grounds for divorce, but maybe that’s not you. He wasn’t surprised by those mistakes. And He can restore wasted years. Jesus forgives, friend.

To those waiting. Maybe the Lord provides a spouse down the road. But don’t forget the ultimate reality. This relationship you have with Christ. And the family you’ve been placed among in His Church. Enjoy that, brother or sister.

To those fearing. Perhaps all you’ve seen are train wreck kinds of marriages. But God is real. The Bible is true. Jesus is alive. That doesn’t have to be your story. You have His power in you. He wants your marriage to be strong.

To those stalling. You’re dating a solid Christian. And you just can’t take that step. Won’t you trust that God will equip and strengthen you? And step up to the plate? Or you’re really anxious about getting in the game. First of all, it’s not a game! Resist all of that silliness. Pray for His wisdom. Take a risk. Ask her out. Trust the Lord.

To those hurting. You’ve been burned by adultery or divorce or both. You’ve been treated like a wife or a husband but never gotten the covenant. He will heal. He will restore. It wasn’t you. Don’t beat yourself up. Draw near to Him. Draw near to His Church. He sees you.

To those wandering. You just don’t think you can do it anymore. And your eyes are starting to look around. You’ve started to think that you deserve more. But watch out. God will not be mocked. He has His reputation tied up in marriage. Repent. Return.    

The Problem of Marriage

Now marriage today is seen as more of a problem. So many impacted by really bad marriages. Divorce rates are through the roof. Adultery no longer surprises us at all. Therefore, so many in our culture have just given up. Either you don’t bother to even pursue marriage at all. Or you try to minimize your risks. Live together to try the relationship out. Make an exit less messy, should things not work out. But it leads to so much pain. And fewer two parent homes.   

But inside the church, we’ve not done much better at all. Divorce rates are still really high. Not a week goes by without another scandal. When we hold up the biblical pattern of one man and one woman for one lifetime. When we share that we don’t think same-sex marriage is best. We’re not taken seriously. Because of the massive logs in our eyes. We don’t just get canceled. We get laughed out of the room. We’re living in glass houses. They can look in and see. And for some reason, we keep throwing rocks. Even with our mess.

The Privilege of Marriage

Let’s repent and return to the pattern and purpose of marriage. What a privilege to give people a picture of God’s great design. Of how things were always meant to be. But we also get to point to the deeper meaning of it all. A glimpse of us and God before everything went wrong. And how He went about to restore that relationship. What a privilege! To display its beauty.

Through our marriages we get to give a picture of the gospel. But we also display the power of that gospel. As the Lord gives us a new identity. And changes us by His Spirit. So that we grow in love. And learn to repent and forgive. And through all the mess, experience the beauty of it all. We get to show His power. Displayed in our weakness. The gospel up close. Worked out in real time. That is a privilege, Karis!

Our Community and Our Mission

I want talk a few minutes about our community and our mission. Let’s go back into that house. And we enter a room with several paintings. One on each wall. And each quite different. On on side is something abstract - like a Jackson Pollack. Literally looks like you chucked some paint on a wall. On the opposite is something representational. It looks real. Screams masterpiece. Maybe a Rembrandt or similar. On the third wall is something kitschy and cheap. A Thomas Kinkade. Too quaint, too “perfect” - hard to take seriously. Jesus says, “Think about these paintings with me.”

Friends, in our community of faith here in Karis, let’s not hide the mess. Cover up the Pollack. And try to hold things together. Convince ourselves we’re the Rembrandt. And hope our family here sees us that way, too. Let’s be ourselves. Let’s seek out help. Let’s be couples others can come to. It’s not about us. It’s about Jesus. And Jesus brings power. Let’s be naked and unashamed. As He is our covering. We need each other.

And thinking about our mission, let’s be genuine before the world. Because when they see us, trying to act all perfect, they’ll just see us as that cheesy Kinkade. They can see through it all. And will stay far away. Let them see our flaws and struggles. And look through them to Jesus. How’s He’s making us new. And can work in them, too. Pharisees make really bad art, you know. The world needs our messy marriages.

But imagine a fourth wall - that’s probably more like what’s real. And Amy and I are working on a canvas together. She’s going all Pollack. I’m trying to be Rembrandt. And what comes out, doesn’t look too great. And in walk the kids, and they get their hands in the paint. And they add to the chaos. But we’re smiling and laughing. And what comes out looks a bit more like the gospel. And no doubt makes the Lord smile. Lots of mess. But so much beauty. Where you can see Jesus Christ shine. The Lord says, “I’m going to work this glory in you.”

Marriage Restored

I remember back in our early days of marriage, Amy hearing a teaching of Jesus. That there would be no marriage in heaven. And she got really upset. It made her really sad. Now she might be thinking, “I could use a few million years off from this guy.” But I think it really hit her then. This marriage isn’t ultimate. No. But meant to point to something greater. God’s relationship with us, His people, truly restored. Through the work of Jesus. The perfect sacrifice, slain to cover our nakedness. We’ll all be together, with our God, praising His Son, in a new heavens and a new earth, forever and ever - with all the mess removed. And there’ll be no need for the metaphor when the real marriage has come. And so much beauty! Hear how it’s described in the book of Revelation:

Revelation 19:6 Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,

“Hallelujah!

For the Lord our God

the Almighty reigns.

Revelation 19:7 Let us rejoice and exult

and give him the glory,

for the marriage of the Lamb has come,

and his Bride has made herself ready;

Revelation 19:8 it was granted her to clothe herself

with fine linen, bright and pure”—

for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.

Revelation 19:9 And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”

This beautiful mess called marriage points beyond itself to something infinitely more beautiful as we await that day when all the mess is removed. Let’s pray.